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Rob asked everyone in the band to write about themselves. As I pondered the better part of my mind, I realized I have no idea how I got here.
I remember around the not-yet-ripened age of 4, the babysitter closed my finger in the playpen. I didn't cry until the doctor told me I needed stitches. Cue the blubbering.
I watched the school bully systematically harass everyone in grade school - I was 10. He got to me by 11 and beat my ass until age 13. That year he went to jail. Asshole.
At 16 my family moved and I learned a new meaning of pain. It's called New Jersey. No matter how much garbage New York dumps there, it all comes up as white trash. So to piss-off all the racist crackers in my town, I started dating all the black girls. That was High School.
The first time I met Rob, I was 17, standing at a Temple University (Philadelphia) urinal at 3:00 in the morning. I watched him sway back-and-forth as he made the claim that he was so drunk he "could piss fire." I moved in with him two weeks later.
When I was 18 Rob taught me about jazz and I taught him about rap (before it was called "hip hop"). We said we'd have a band one day. Whatever.
From that point on my life can be summarized in a series of roommates I shared with Rob. There was two pot smokers, a little tough guy who didn't realize he was gay, Neal - who didn't live with us but it seemed like he did, a girl who hated our guts and that bitch who's still stalking me today.
I moved out to LA 2 years ago. A year later Rob moved out. Now I'm in a band.
Sonofabitch!
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UPTOWN FILE: #666666
